News and Events

Editor’s note: This is an ongoing series of articles featuring KGLRC staff, volunteers and community members.

No matter what anyone says

As a 2011 Terry Kuseske LGBT Youth Scholarship recipient, 19-year old Grace Ferguson started attending KGLRC youth group meetings after David Topping spoke to students from the Portage Northern High School GSA.

The KGLRC gave Grace a place where she could go to be unconditionally accepted for her identity. “When I was questioning my identity, I could go and talk to the youth leaders, and they would let me talk to them without fear of judgment,” she shares. “It really helped me figure things out. It also helped me to connect with other queer youth at a time in my life when I felt really alone.

I really liked going to the youth group when I was in high school. That was my favorite.”

Grace shares some advice for other kids who want to talk to their parents about their sexual orientation. “Take care of yourself first. It’s okay to wait to come out until it feels safe and right to you,” she advises.

“I know sometimes it feels like you absolutely need to come out right away, but if you know that your parents will struggle with it, it’s okay to wait. Take things slow. Bring up LGBT* issues in a less personal context to see how your parents respond.

Grace found out about the Terry Kuseske LGBT Youth Scholarship when David spoke at her high school’s GSA.

“I wasn’t going to apply, but then after a youth group meeting one week, Tracy Hall (former KGLRC Program Director) pulled me aside and told me that I had done a lot in the LGBT community, and that I should be sure to apply,” she says. “So I did, and I was surprised and proud to win.”

Currently, Grace attends Western Michigan University where she is majoring in Social Work with minors in Nonprofit Leadership and Gender and Women’s Studies. She really hopes to work in the nonprofit sector someday, either for an LGBT* focused organization or for a women’s health organization.

“I may someday want to continue my education and go to law school to become a legal advocate, but right now I’m just focused on getting my BSW and nonprofit certification,” says Grace.

These days, Grace likes going to movie nights and activism events because she feels like there is still a lot for her to learn. She spends her free time sewing, knitting, crafting, cooking, baking and reading.

And sharing words of wisdom… “Identity politics can be complicated and confusing. It’s okay if you can’t find the right labels to fit you, if you change labels many times, or if you don’t feel like any labels fit right. It doesn’t change who you are,” she asserts. “No matter what anyone says, you are the only person who needs to validate your identity.

”The

Editor’s note: This is an ongoing series of articles featuring KGLRC staff, volunteers and community members.

It all started with a web search.

When Lisa Burchett’s son Nick came out to her and her husband John, she conducted a web search to find resources to assist, and the Kalamazoo Gay Lesbian Resource Center was one of them.

“The KGLRC has helped us get facts and resources to support Nick,” says Lisa, 44. “It has helped us open conversations and given Nick a safe place to be himself.”

And Nick, now 15, agrees. He first participated in a youth group bowling outing. “I can be me without judgment, and no one cares I am gay,” he says. “They understand what I go through. Youth group lets me be with people like me.”

But Nick has learned being different is fine too. “I have learned it’s okay to be different than most people. I am still good and lovable. Seeing that my mentor John is a professional and in love, I have learned that I will have a good future too. I hope to marry and have a family. He shows it can happen,” said Nick.

The process hasn’t always been easy. Nick was initially anxious to talk to his parents about his sexual orientation. “It is safe. Do it,” he says. “I was scared, but I think I knew my parents would love me no matter what. My parents are the most understanding I know. Most parents will love you no matter what.”

For Lisa and John, who have been married for 19 years, educating themselves is important to them to be strong advocates for Nick.

“Laws are changing fast and outside institutions will not seek to implement changes without your encouragement,” Lisa says. “Parents have to be open. Children are essentially the same child as before they came out; they just have to let themselves be more vulnerable to you.”

Her best advice: Be the parent your child deserves.

The Burchetts believe in getting involved. Nick participates in the KGLRC Triangle Mentorship Program and the youth group. He has also attended Kalamazoo Pride and the dog walk with his dog Freckles. Says Nick, “I like to be with and help people who share what I go through.”

Encouraged by Lisa and John, Nick joined the mentorship program. “Basically, neither John or I have been a 14 year old gay boy. We can love, support and advocate, but there are aspects and feelings and concerns that we will never have firsthand knowledge of,” Lisa says. “His mentor gives Nick a perspective we never could.”

Lisa and John participate in many volunteer activities through the KGLRC such as the Triangle Mentorship Program, fundraisers and Kalamazoo Pride. They were also the recipients of the 2011 Ally of the Year Award from the KGLRC. “We participate because the work done by the KGLRC is vital,” says Lisa. “Our son’s future depends on the real changes the KGLRC affects. We believe in the mission of equality.”

Family is very important to the Burchetts, and they share a love of watching scary movies. Nick likes to spend time with family, including his brother Jacob, whom he considers his best friend.

“I feel I can talk to my parents about anything,” Nick shares. “Sometimes my mom wants to talk too much about things, but she is always open to my questions.”

Nick also turns to his Sam, his other best friend, for support. “We have been together since we were three. I came out to him within two weeks of telling my parents. He never reacted. He never changed how he treats me. We love each other like brothers.”

While things may not always be easy, the Burchetts are grateful for the love of their family and the support and friendship they have received from people at the KGLRC.

“Because Nick is who he is, we have been given an opportunity to know some of the most wonderful people we have been ever been blessed to know,” Lisa says. “We never would have chosen such a difficult path that our son is on. But now that we are here, we know it’s where we belong.”

Most importantly, Nick has positive thoughts about the future.

I wish there were stronger laws to protect gays at work and in school. I think the way we are heading politically is good but slow. I will get married and have kids. I am hopeful. – Nick Burchett

Editor’s note: This is the first article in a series of write-ups dedicated to sharing the stories of the KGLRC staff, volunteers and community.

Everyone is Welcome

Pastor Ken Arthur, chairperson of the Kalamazoo Faith Alliance, has always known about the Kalamazoo Gay Lesbian Resource Center. “As a gay man who has lived in Kalamazoo for many years now, I’ve known of the Resource Center’s work and its positive effect on the community for a long time.”

Ken grew up in Alpena, but he came to Kalamazoo in 1984 to attend college and has spent most of his time here since then. Having attended various KGLRC events over the years, Ken became an active volunteer when he became involved in the Kalamazoo Faith Alliance in 2010.

“I was honored when the Faith Alliance asked me to be the chairperson. I think this is such an important effort and I want to do what I can to support its ongoing mission,” he says. As the pastor of Phoenix Community Church, which is comprised of mostly LGBTQ people, it’s especially important to Ken to support the Faith Alliance in its goal of ‘seeking full inclusion of, and justice for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons at all levels of public and religious life.’

“Too often,” he says, “religion and particularly Christianity have failed LGBTQ people. I think it is wonderful that there are now religious groups banding together to stand up and welcome and support the LGBTQ community.”

Arthur shared that he’s loved seeing the film series event come together the last two years. “Our spirituality is such an important part of our lives. The film series allows people to share their stories and discuss openly what faith means to them, both the good and the bad.

In particular, it’s been very important to have places to talk about how our gender identity and sexual orientation have affected and been affected by our spiritual journeys.”

The Kalamazoo Faith Alliance is a group of religious organizations, clergy, and non-clergy people who have come together to create conversation around the intersection of our faith and sexuality so that those who have been injured in the past can have an opportunity for healing.

“We want people to know that, despite the nastiness we sometimes hear from fundamentalist groups, there are supportive places where one can go to explore their spiritual side and the great mysteries of life,” says Ken. “We also want to advocate for justice so that the damage done in the name of religion in the past will stop.”

While the Faith Alliances encourages participation at member churches, there are also other events for existing members as well as the greater community.

“The last two years, the Faith Alliance has hosted a prayer breakfast in February to highlight political issues as well as a film series in October, said Arthur. “After each film there has been a panel discussion with audience questions and comments.” Ken shared that these have generated some great discussions.

They have also hosted other events such as a workshop on the biblical passages that are typically and erroneously used to condemn the LGBTQ community. Arthur and the Faith Alliance encourage partner organizations to participate in Kalamazoo Pride every year. “Last year I think we had six different churches represented,” says Ken.

“We’d love to have more faith paths represented in our efforts,” he shares. “Everyone is welcome to participate in the Faith Alliance.”